diet classism
🐺 levi - he/him - 17 - @wolfboyinc
☁️ ashe - they/cetus - 18 - @0RCAGUTZ
😎 dapple - she/her - 17 - @peeebabe
🎀 lyra - she/her - 16 - @lapppland
🦊 fox - she/her - 16 - @foxywoxy7
🌈 coast - she/they - minor - @coastdoesart
🥳 reece - they/it - 17 - @CHID0UINS
🐇 karma - he/they - 16 - @rottenbunnie
💥 nym - she/her - 20 - @nymbones
🥀 red - he/him - 18 - @veneratedred
🌷 abbie - she/they - 16 - @abbiekittie
🐥 leo - he/him - 14 - no twt
🥶 julo - she/her - minor - @toriho31
HELLO WE ARE DIET CLASSISM!!! PLEASE SEND INQURIES [email protected]
date of birth: 08/07/20
this is an international holiday! please celebrate or face consequence!
we HATE GENSHIN IMPACT !!!!! please send me your credit card information so i can gamble -lyra (/j)
TO THOSE OUTSIDE CLASSISM
please do not ask questions!!!
TO THOSE INSIDE CLASSISM
levi would like to know the details of your love life, please inform him of any changes.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ DA RULEZ OF DIET CLASSISM !..
✱ cis hets are banned on sight, only exception to this rule is if you drink a bucket of everyone's spit in less than :30 seconds
✱ no liking porn on the diet classism twitter, unless its of alpha and omega, then porn away.
✱ we all have abandonment issues
✱ what happens in diet classism stays in diet classim /th
✱ please keep the backdoor locked if you dont the dog will get in and it will PISS on the carpet and we JUST fucking cleaned it /th (I SAID I WONT PEE ON THE SEATS I PROMISE -lyra)
DIET CLASSISM HALL OF FAME
-hajime hinata in genshin impact, by nym, dates december 2nd 2020
-chad in among us, by diet classism, dates october 9th 2020
-trying to answer a phone call, by our incompetency, dates november 18th 2020
-aparri real name, by levi, dates january 3rd 2021
-genshin impact, by gambling addiction, dates december 13th 2020
-NAGITO RAID, by nagito komaeda, dates december 11th 2020
-racisim in warrior cats, by diet catsism, dates december 5th 2020
-gacha life, by diet cassism, dates november 28th 2020
PLEASE INQUIRE WITH US FOR MORE HIGHLIGHTS OF OUR EXCITING LIVES!
SAY HI TO US IF YOU ARE A TWITCH STREAMER, PLEASE!
thank you, guy from heat waves!
thank you for reading the diet classism carrd! if you are burning(the guy from burning soulworker) do NOT interact!!!!! your game sucks my wife cant run it all she wants is to whale how could oyou do this to her!!! LET HER GIVE YOU HER MONEY!!!!!! same with mihoyo genshin impact. fix your prepaid card system. i want to spend my fucking money and yet you wot let me. -lyra
please do NOT contact us with waterdog related offers! thank you.
(thank you to my little sister she did this for 10$ -lyra)
heat waves but re-wrote as diet classism bc why tf not
yw diet classism
-------------------------
Alice has always held a gentle admiration for Kyoko, but when their nuanced friendship trickles into her sleeping mind, she awakens to a new world of conflicting emotions and longing. Lost in the midst of a heat wave, she continuously listens to a song that works itself in to the very core of her heartache. Diet classism nights, unsent messages, spiraling infatuation, and terrible, terrible weather.
A breath of frustration escapes Kyoko’s lips. “I don’t do that.”
“You do. It’s okay,” Alice says. She feels pinpricks of warmth building in her chest. The words rise up faster than she can temper, laced with soft honey, “you’re so cute.”
The call falls silent.
They heard it. The affection in the tone of her voice, different than usual, no trace of humor. The way it came from the hearth below her heart, glowing with secrecy and shame—for Kyoko, and kyoko only. They had to have heard it.
--
inspired by the song "heat waves" by glass animals
Chapter 1: Moon Jelly
Notes: idk why tf im doing this but i hope u like it diet clssism.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
A gentle glow from the computer screen washes over the dark desk, colors flickering in rapid motion. The monitor whirs in self defense of the growing heat. The ceiling fan lays mockingly silent in the stifling air. Reclined in her seat, Alice’s head is tilted back to watch the wooden slats for the slightest tremor. Betrayal. Beads of sweat collect near her hairline. She tugs absently on the sticky plastic of his headphones, where they rest around her neck. The small light on the exterior blinks green.
“Alice?” She hears Kyoko say faintly.
“Wait, did she leave?” Copper asks.
“It says she’s on the call still.” Kyoko’s voice slowly grows closer. Alice begins to unattach her eyes from the fan. “Alice?”
The concern in her voice makes Alice sit up. She pushes her headphones back on and wipes her face. “Yes, yes, hello, sorry. I zoned out for a sec.” She blinks to register what’s on her screen, seeing green grass blocks and Copper’s avatar crouching in front of her. “Shoot, did you end the stream?” She quickly tabs out just in time to see Kyoko laugh.
“No, but I’m about to. Couldn’t end it without you saying bye,” Kyoko says. The small considerate act was enough to bloom a warmth in Alice’s chest.
She smiles. “Oh, alright. Bye stream!”
“Bye!” Copper yells.
Kyoko waves to the camera. “Bye you guys, thank you so much. Also, pray for Alice’s air conditioning.”
“And my broken fan,” Alice adds.
“Bye bye,” Kyoko repeats, then disappears from Alice’s view. This stream has ended . A familiar feeling creeps into Alice’s chest whenever that message appears post-stream; disappointment clouded with confusion. Today, it is accompanied by trickles of regret.
She frowns. “Sorry I spent so much of your stream complaining about the weather,” she says, clicking back to the server. Copper has placed an oak sign before her that reads: wee waa alice can’t take the heat. She rolls her eyes and breaks it.
“It’s fine, really. I just feel bad for you,” Kyoko says. Her avatar bounds over and starts placing doors on the ground. “Any idea when it’ll be fixed?”
“Soon, I hope,” Alice answers with a huff, opening and closing the doors to appease Kyoko. “I don’t think I can take much more of this.” They’d been playing for the past three hours, meaning Alice had been accumulating enough sweat in her pantsu to stick to her chair for much longer than any woman should. Physical comfort was a key component for her to stay mellow, and not much could distract her from itchy tags and blistering heat. Not much, that is, besides gaming. “Seeing you was nice, though, something about your cheerful face distracts me from my agony,” she confesses, words leaving her mouth before she can attempt to filter. She cringes. What was that?
“Oh my god, shut up,” Kyoko says. She sounds embarrassed.
Copper coos. “Maybe I should stream with my camera on too.”
Alice laughs, running away from the two of them to ease her sudden spike in nervousness. “That would keep my attention.”
“Oh yeah, are my streams not interesting enough for you Alice?” Kyoko says, flying after her.
“What?” Alice says, feeling a pang of guilt. “What makes you think that? I love your streams.”
Kyoko continues to act offended. “If you loved them you wouldn’t zone out randomly.”
“I didn’t mean to,” Alice whines, which only makes the other two laugh. “I just got distracted by my misery, and tried to airbend a breeze in here.”
“Yeah right,” Copper says. “You couldn’t have been doing just that for ten minutes.”
“Ten minutes?” Alice repeats, bewildered. She didn’t feel it had been that long; she was exploring the map and then clicked onto Kyoko’s stream to see where she was, and of course Kyoko was smiling and yelling, but somehow so full of energy and spirit, and the hot air started to seep into Alice’s soul...
“You were AFK for a while,” Kyoko says. “We were still talking to you though and thought you’d muted yourself or something. Diet classism gc thought it was embarrassing.”
“Oh,” Alice says.
“Hold on, did you mean to mute yourself?” Copper asks, laughing at her own insinuation. “Lil too excited watching Kyoko?”
Both Alice and Kyoko explode in disgusted yells. Good lord, Copper.
“Copper!” Kyoko sends a series of hits raining down onto her avatar. “You are so inappropriate off-stream.”
“You’re gross,” Alice says with a laugh, but it’s feeble and half-hearted. Her pulse is rapidly drumming inside her skull. She is not lost to the strange dilemma of why she faded from their call for so long to stare at her Kyoko-less ceiling. Why did Kyoko have anything to do with it? Envy, perhaps, of her friend’s ability to be wearing a hoodie in the middle of summer. She brushed it off. “It’s true, though. Kyoko’s face does get me excited.”
Kyoko groans, making Copper and Alice laugh. “Now you’re just trying to make me uncomfortable.”
“Flustered, you mean,” Alice inputs quickly.
“Okay, no, I’m sick of you two.” Kyoko says, immediately exiting their server. “Consider this a rage quit.”
DuckWeed<3 has left the game. Alice sends a :( into the chat.
“Noo, Duckweedd!,” Copper pl
please donate to the diet classism patreon to see more! thank you! -lyra
